September 12, 2010

loo’s talc: so interesting!

These times are really interesting and the way things are going, soon we will be living in limitless bliss. We need not even go outside our homes as long as our TV is working. Mein hoon na! [for non-Bollywood souls, it means, I’m there for you.]

You get up in the morning and open your TV set. Chances are that you will first see a distant shot of Old Yamuna Bridge in Delhi and then a close view of the water mark. The charged reporter will be yelling to make sure you understand how many centimetre rise in the water level will flood how many shanties. The wish that it rises more and gives them more fun is perceptible all through. More floods, more fun! If you have switched on the right channel, I bet there will be shots of flooded shanties, a collapsing wall, stranded people [who will be asked how they are feeling], people pushing cars out of water and more to give you the desired ‘live’ feel. Peepli Live is just a second-hand edition of the real live action here. Some years back it was Kosi flooding a third of Bihar but that was less photogenic by today’s standards; that’s why I say, times are getting more and more interesting.

We have so much fun around. Wheat rolling out of torn sacks and sprouting there itself… members of legislative assemblies fighting with chairs and mikes… Mamta didi offering prayers in railway advt…

Commonwealth Games have been real fun so far. You have a CM who let numerous deadlines die, and now washes her hands off all delays and corruption in unusual rains. The Sports Minister invokes God in every statement he makes, and he makes many with smile on his face. Stadia are full of water and so are the roads outside, and our swimmers have eaten something funny to make sure they won’t need to participate in swimming.

Cricket had never been more sporty than now. Indian, Paki and Brit bookies have helped the players in perfecting the art of no ball and lazy bat. Modi and Pawar keep adding value to the game and so do innumerable advertisements of Dhoni. But other games have not been behind: dope has given a strong muscle to weight-lifting, wrestling and swimming and if the trend continues for the next one week, we’ll have a dope squad that’ll beat any team in the world. Another sign of India’s growing power in the world arena.

That reminds me of an instance when an American and an Indian met. “We have made the biggest loo is the world,” the American said. “How big?” the Indian asked. “Twenty thousand sqare metre,” is what the American told.
The Indian laughed. “Ours is over three hundred billion square metres, man!”
“You’re joking. That would cover your entire country.”
That's it. We can piss anywhere we like.”

So, explore yourself what all is making your life so interesting, on TV and around you. Happy loo’s talc!!

1 comment:

  1. You write so serious stuff and you hav e funny bone too. Good piece and the photo is more funny. Rhe reporter is almost asking the umbrella fella, how do you feel?